Bad Taste.

Pizza Hut Japan's 'Double Roll Pie' (rejected names include 'The Kitchen Sink' and 'Instant Death') is topped with bacon-wrapped sausages, mini hamburger patties, mushrooms, soy beans, corn, paprika, garlic chips, green peppers, pepperoni, mozzarella, parmigiana, and fucking cheddar! Oh also, it's served with ketchup, maple syrup, and a vigorous slap across the face. Oh, the gluttony and audacity. The shame and sheer thrill of it all!

My favorite part is that the design of this ad truly reflects the overbearing attitude of the pizza (not that it should qualify as a pizza by any stretch of the imagination). It's a traffic jam for the eyes that would precede the ten-car pileup that would occur in your gut if you had the gall to step near this monster. Check out the cute little tomato icon (ketchup!), the maple leaf (syrup!), and the kinda-smiling, near-comatose boy and girl (kill your kids!). And of course, the ad is absolutely drenched in text, because this pizza requires a fucking explanation. Paradoxically, I'm quite sure that no explanation is sufficient.

Divert thine eyes. Staring at this thing for too long might turn you to stone.

Perpetrators.

DJ A-Trak has a blog and he is calling out suckas that perpetrate. He recently blogged about a flagrantly ripped-off Maroon 5 album cover design as well as another by Good Charlotte. Read/watch this post I wrote about A-Trak in June.

Pretension, Desperation, Boredom, and Pain

I hereby call bullshit on album titles that intend to encompass the entire universe. The two worst offenders are Life, Death, Love and Freedom by John Mellencamp and Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace by the Foo Fighters. Not only are these titles cumbersome and gaudy, but they smack of desperation. You can almost hear Dave Grohl going, "hey guys, does this sound 'artistic' enough?"

I'm gonna go listen to Jesus Lizard's Goat in order to obliterate the pomposity.

David Blaine's New 'Trick'

Today I overheard a conversation that seemed to sum up the last ten years of illusionist David Blaine's career.

Man: "Did you hear about David Blaine's new trick? He's gonna hang upside-down over Central Park for three days."
Woman: "That's not a trick."
Man: (defensively) "It's about endurance."
Woman: "That guy's a douche."

Oh, Regrets

The phrase 'bad decisions' doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.

Some of the world's worst tattoos are compiled in the book No Regrets: The Best, Worst, & Most #$%*ing Ridiculous Tattoos Ever, written by Aviva Yael and P.M. Chen with a foreword by David Cross. The book serves not only as a compendium of hilariously hideous inked flesh but also a frightening glimpse into the tackiest and drunkest depths of the human psyche. Among the worst tattoos are the bong-smoking dolphin (allegedly the result of a lost bet), bald Britney (or is it Freddy Kreuger?), and a pair of fucking (and smoking) unicorns.

Here is a gallery of images from the book. Click here to listen while Howard Stern flips through the pages.

Bad Idea of the Week

My sharpest dagger in my eye this week is the 'number as letter' trend. It all started with the film 'Se7en' and lately it's been infecting innocent titles and phrases worldwide. You wouldn't ever wear your socks over your shoes, right? You wouldn't eat your sandwich out of a mug and drink you coffee off of a plate, correct? Thus you should never place a number where a letter belongs. Here are a couple of the worst offenders, guaranteed to kick your eye in the balls every time you look. Send other examples to dan@magneticstate.com so I can post them here and revel in how much they annoy me. The only thing worse than a trend is a really ugly trend.